I was looking back at some pictures today and the person in the photos, I didn’t recognize. The only thing is, I knew who it was… it was me. All I could think was, well, other than, “dang, girl, you were doing them squats and lunges like a beast back then!”, was where did that smile go? That zeal for life, at that time? That excitement and anticipation of what the near future would hold, now that I was out of a toxic relationship and just living life, being me, with God and my kids.

I started to tear up as the realization of the fact that I had let myself go, set in. And I’m not talking physically – though, from the looks of it, that shows, as well. I asked myself and sent some pics to my bff’s, with the message, “What happened to me?”

I had let myself go – away from the plans God truly had for me, away from the things that made me purely happy, away from the hopes and dreams I had for the future. How, you ask? By, doing what I wanted to do. By, “doing me”, as they say. I started to jump back into those selfish and rebellious ways that got me in trouble so long ago, in the first place. The same things that had put me in a toxic relationship before. The same things that I knew were not right for me. So, why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves in situations we thought we learned a lesson from already, or why do we allow ourselves to? It’s time we let go of our selfish and petty desires and behaviors! What is it going to take for us to wake up? Are we going to wait until we can barely even make any moves because we’ve let ourselves go that much??

Look, normally I’d think of and write something inspirational and get you all in your feels, but not today. Now, I know some of you may respond better to that or prefer to hear those feel good messages, but one thing I’ve learned is that we all need the TRUTH! I mean, it is the TRUTH that sets us free, right?

If you are in a place that you know is not for you or you’ve let yourself go – whether physically, spiritually, emotionally – or that place of compromise with everything, I’m going to tell you to STOP – like, right now! Wake up out of your self-deprecating, self loathing, pitiful slumber! You are NOT the things you are doing! You are NOT apart of that group you’ve been hanging out with! (you know…the ones who tell you, “awww…come on, just try it, do it”) You are NOT what others may say or think about you! You are NOT even those negative and hurtful things you may say or think about yourself!

You ARE better than all that! And, seriously, if you don’t stop and wake up, you are not going to be living your best life – no matter how many shots you take while singing that song! That’s just the way it goes. It’s time to get honest with yourselves. It’s time to take inventory of your life and the people in it. And, no matter how many times your mom or a friend tells you, “It’s going to be okay”, it won’t be. No amount of encouraging words or makeup or friends or clothes or shoes is going to make everything okay.

Not until you face some hard truths about yourself and find out what you really want in this life and for yourself, and then make purposeful choices to get there, will you get there. I know. That’s the reason I’m writing this right now… because I just woke up – again! All I know is that I have to come back from all that and that is what I’m going to do.

It’s time we all GET REAL! Because then and only then, will you get FREE!